Do you...?

Suffer from Flashbacks
Relive the Rape
Experience Nightmares
Avoid People and Places
Blame Yourself
Feel Numb
Struggle with Daily Tasks

Depressed
Tense
Edgy
Angry
Easily Startled
Hyper Vigilant

A TRUE STORY

The day after the rape my husband secured the house like Fort Knox making strips of wood with nails every half inch.  Each strip was nailed on the outside of every window sill and dead bolts installed for each door.  That week we had purchased a 22 caliber and I began training at the shooting range. 

One evening I heard a noise by the back door.  I knew we had dead bolts on every door, nails on every window sill, and a gun at my disposal yet I was petrified. My body reacted in a fight or flight mode.   In a few seconds I had run the scenario through my head that I would shoot to kill anyone that came into my home.  I would never be raped again! 

I grabbed the gun and my son and we stood against the wall in our hallway and waited…my sights on the back door…my gun loaded and cocked.  I covered my son with my body as I peered around the wall waiting.

We stood in that hallway for a while before I realized no one was there.  I turned to my son and thought, what the heck are you doing?  Get a grip! 

The problem...I couldn't get a grip because I didn't know how.  In the moments before I grabbed the gun and my son I relived the rape in head.  I acted out of fear and rightfully so, however I could have hurt my son or it could have been my husband at the door.